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非數學的愛情與婚姻方程式
Romance mathematics
戀愛數學Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance
聰明的男人 + 聰明的女人 = 戀愛
Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Affair
聰明的男人 + 愚蠢的女人 = 姦情
Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Marriage
愚蠢的男人 + 聰明的女人 = 婚姻
Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy
愚蠢的男人 + 愚蠢的女人 = 懷孕
______________________________Shopping Math購物數學A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
一個男人會出20元,買一個他所需要,但只值10元的東西。A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
一個女人會出10元,買一個她不需要,但值20元的東西。
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General Equations & Statistics
公式和統計數學A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
一個女人結婚後,就不再為未來擔憂。
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
一個男人直到結婚後,才會擔心未來。
A successful man is one who Makes more money than his wife can spend.
一個男人所賺的錢,足夠支付她老婆的開銷,就是個成功的男人。
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
可以找到一個成功的男人,就是個成功的女人。
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Happiness
幸福數學To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
要和一個男人幸福的生活,你必須非常了解他,而不必太愛他。
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
要和一個女人幸福的生活,你必須非常愛她,而不必嘗試去理解她。
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Longevity
壽命數學Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
已婚的男人一般比未婚的長命,但大部分的已婚男人卻寧願去死。
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Propensity Change
個性數學A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
女人希望男人婚後會有所改變,可是他並不會。
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
男人希望女人婚後不會改變,可是她一定會。
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Discussion Technique
辯論技巧A woman has the last word in any argument.
在爭吵時,女人總是爭到最後一字一句。
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument。
在那之後,男人所說的任何句話,又會引起新的爭端&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&幽默句子........讀後必會心微笑,亦有同感吧....
Love Story話說民國初年,上海百樂門舞廳老闆美麗的女兒被名流紳士們瘋狂追求。可是她誰都看不上,只喜歡舞廳內一個樂手。當二人難分難捨時,她父親卻將她許配給一位駐美大使,她只好傷心的隨夫赴美。離開前,樂手交給她一塊錢大洋,希望有生之年再相遇時,作為二人的信物。三十年後,她搭機回國,出機場時,看到一個熟悉的身影,當年的情人現在在拉三輪車。坐上車,她眼光泛淚,默默掉淚。就這樣,三輪車直奔百樂門舞廳,一路上兩人沒交談。到舞廳門口時,她問多少錢?車伕回答:五毛。她打開珍藏的一塊大洋:這給你。車伕猶疑了一下,沒說甚麼,便收錢回家。回到家,車伕看著一塊錢,百感交集,悲從中來,振筆寫下這世界名曲........三輪車跑得快,上面坐個老太太,要五毛給一塊,你說奇怪不奇怪?.......人生無需驚天動地,快樂就好;友誼無需甜言蜜語,想著就好;金錢無需車載斗量,夠用就好;朋友無需遍及天下,有你就好。