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2016年2月5日 星期五

婚姻幽默(中英文)

婚姻幽默(中英文)每句都精典!

 

"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."

如果有人搶了你的老婆,最好的報復就是讓他留著。

Lee Majors(美國電影明星 - .梅爾)

 

 

"After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay" together.

結婚後夫妻就像一個硬幣的兩面·;他們不但不能面對面,而且還分不開。

Al Gore (克林頓當總統時的副總統 - 阿爾·戈爾)

 

 

"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."

不管怎麼樣,還是結婚的好。如果你找到一個好太太,你會很幸福。假如你找到一個壞的,你會成為一個哲學家。

Socrates(古希臘的思想家、哲學家,教育家 - 蘇格拉底)

 

 

"Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them."

女人給了男人做大事的激勵和靈感,同時又給了男人完成大事的阻力。

Mike Tyson(前美國拳王 - 麥克.泰森)

 

 

"The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" 

有一個好問題我總是沒答案;那就是 "女人到底想要什麼?"

George Clooney(美國著名演員 - 喬治·克魯尼)

 

 

"I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me." 

我跟我太太才說了幾個字,她卻回了我一段長篇大論。

Bill Clinton(美國前總統比爾.克林頓)

 

 

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

有人問我婚姻能維持這麼長的秘密。我們每個星期去餐館兩次。晚餐有燭光,音樂,和跳舞。她星期二去,我星期五去。

George W. Bush(美國前總統 - 小布希)

 

 

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." 

我不怕恐怖分子。我已經結婚兩年了。

Rudy Giuliani(前紐約市911事件時的市長 - 魯迪.朱利安尼)

 

 

"Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up."

有兩個秘密能讓你的婚姻圓滿:

1. 當你錯時,馬上認錯。

2. 當你對時,閉上嘴巴。

Shaquille O'Neal(美國籃球巨星 - 沙奎爾.奧尼爾)

 

 

"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once..."

最有效的方法記住你太太的生日就是先忘掉一次。

Kobe Bryant(美國籃球巨星 - 科比·布萊恩特)

 

 

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."

我太太和我都高高興興的過了二十年,然後我們相遇了。

Alec Baldwin(美國電影明星 - 亞歷克.鮑德溫)

 

 

"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."

一個好太太當她是錯的時候總是原諒她的丈夫。

Barack Obama(美國總統 歐巴馬)

 

 

"Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy."

婚姻是唯一的敵我睡在一張床上的戰爭。

Tommy Lee(美國老牌電影明星 - 湯米.李)

 

 

"First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

有個人驕傲的說 "我的太太是天使!"

另一個聽到的人說"你真幸運!我的還活著!"

Jimmy Kimmel(美國著名電視節目主持人 - 吉米.金米爾)

 

 

"Honey, what happened to 'ladies first'?" Husband replies, "That's the reason why the world's a mess today, because a lady went first!"

"親愛的,女士優先又怎麼了?" 丈夫回答說,"今天世界亂成這個樣子就是因為有女的先來了!"

David Letterman(美國電視著名脫口秀主持人 - 大衛.萊特曼)